Two Way Monologue.

Its almost April and i half one ( and a half almost) month of school left. i have absolutely no motivation for this. its the last weekday of spring break and i wish that i could just go on like this. this is how i lived all spring semester of last year. just hanging out at home with my family, going out to do stuff with friends, going running with jack, eating dads wonderful food, no caf food, :) and having my own bathroom and room. its nice. although, i do need a job because i am quickly running out of $... :( which isn't good.


Anyways, i just. have absolutely no idea where i am going in life. i am majoring (at the moment) in Graphic Design and Photography. i have taken 4 art classes so far and have disliked them all, pretty majorly. but i have no where else to go at JBU. if it were my choice, i would drop out of school tomorrow and go to the Peter Mark Cosmetology College in Belfast, Northern Ireland. But, it isnt my choice. it is my parents. and i agree, i should get a degree, it is just one of those things that takes 4 years and i have no patience for right now. but im sure i will appreciate it later...

I have two HUGE papers to write right now. One for english on the book, A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines, And a paper for Old Testament on Esther. each has to be between 5-10 pages and i havent really started either. i just want to go outside and drink some iced tea on the deck with jack and read a good book. Maybe listen to some good music as well.

I feel like i never see Andrew anymore, he is dating a girl named analisa (one of my friends from high school. i introduced them.) and that has been really hard for me. He is my best friend and i feel like we never talk anymore. it makes me sad but i realize that this will have to happen eventually.

Im ready for this summer, but at the same time, i have NO idea what im doing. I know that i am going to Ireland. but i dont know if im doing the irish studies program or if i am doing an internship at Peter Mark in belfast. i just dont know! and its scary. and i dont want to decide. why does life get so complicated??

Well. i must go do those papers now. I cant let them sit on my shoulders until i feel so completely stressed that i cannot do anything about it. Goodbye.


Love,
Heather